Philthy
12th May 2010, 08:19 AM
1 Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
2 Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your
swing.
3 When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club
or two more balls.
4 If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you
is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a
lay-up,
or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
5 The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing
6 No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7 The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of
the
one critical
unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many
other errors.
8 If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
9 Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.
10 Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
11 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
12 It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt .... for an 8.
13 Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him
to make fun of his own haircut.
14 Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
15 It's not a gimme if you're still away.
16 The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that
passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
17 There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the
way
you meant to play it.
18 You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch
90%
of the time.
19 If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a
much earlier age.
20 The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
21 Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually
the beginning
of the next group of three.
22 When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down
again
at exactly
the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want
to
see it again.
23 Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two
bogeys
to restore
fundamental equilibrium within the universe.
24 If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to
lay-up just short
of a water hazard.
25 There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the
top
and checking
the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is
wearing the glove.
26 Hazards attract, fairways repel.
27 You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but no
golfer can put
a straight on the ball.
28 A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
29 If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball
is
in the bunker.
If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
2 Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your
swing.
3 When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club
or two more balls.
4 If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you
is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a
lay-up,
or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
5 The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing
6 No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7 The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of
the
one critical
unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many
other errors.
8 If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
9 Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.
10 Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
11 A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
12 It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt .... for an 8.
13 Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him
to make fun of his own haircut.
14 Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
15 It's not a gimme if you're still away.
16 The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that
passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
17 There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the
way
you meant to play it.
18 You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch
90%
of the time.
19 If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a
much earlier age.
20 The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
21 Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually
the beginning
of the next group of three.
22 When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down
again
at exactly
the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want
to
see it again.
23 Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two
bogeys
to restore
fundamental equilibrium within the universe.
24 If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to
lay-up just short
of a water hazard.
25 There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the
top
and checking
the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is
wearing the glove.
26 Hazards attract, fairways repel.
27 You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but no
golfer can put
a straight on the ball.
28 A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
29 If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball
is
in the bunker.
If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.